Life Through A Porthole

Welcome to New Zealand…

What a warm welcome to New Zealand….NOT.

We were actually greeted with high winds and rain. Glorious. To be honest, it was actually seriously refreshing to have some rain after not seeing any for months. I would love to say that my first experience of NZ got better and improved from the initial first impression given by the weather, however I am sad to report it didn’t due to a saucy situation I found myself in. (Behave!)

The first port in NZ we visited was Wellington. Myself, Caroline and Jack explored a little and then found a lovely little bar/active brewery to sit down to have some lunch. We all ordered food such as a burger which came with a side order of fries.

When my food arrived, it came with a pot of Ketchup on the side. Not a huge deal in the true perspective of life, however Jack’s fries came with a pot of Mayonnaise. Now I am in no way ungrateful for things life offers me, but as more of a mayo lover myself, I suddenly gained a large amount of mayo envy (it’s a genuine feeling). There was only one thing I could do… I politely requested a side of the mayonnaise that Jack had on his plate, to replace the ketchup which originally accompanied my meal.

Now, in hindsight I really wish I was aware of the true value of New Zealand Mayonnaise, because the waitress accepted my request of replacing the ketchup, BUT she told me it would cost me a whole $2 for the privilege of doing so.

Well.

Never.

I was taken back at first, but as always, I covered all bases in my head before giving a final, solidified reaction. My thought process was as follows:

1. It wasn’t just Mayonnaise. It was a more complex, flavoured sauce like Aioli or something similar. It would cost more to buy as a business, so naturally there would be a cost for this speciality sauce. Charge understandable.

2. She was joking. This was extremely unlikely as a smile never cracked across her face. The only thing to crack was my heart at the thought of actually paying $2 for a pot of Mayonnaise.

3. I misheard her. I definitely didn’t, but as always, I am completely open to accept and consider my own faults (There are absolutely none).

For the pricely sum of $2 I ovbiously expected quite a big deal when this pot of New Zealand mayonnaise magic finally arrived. I wanted a sparkler including a whole procession like they do in nightclubs when you spend £150 on some bottle of spirit that you literally could of bought in a supermarket for £30.

Oh, how I was bitterly disappointed by the presentation of my apparently high value condiment. The waitress had the absolute audacity to simply place it on the table by hand and accompany this questionable presentation technique with the phrase:

‘You can pay at the bar after you have eaten’.

Oh I can? How lovely to know.

Now, I’m not entirely sure what I am more embarrassed about, the fact I potentially thought she was joking or the fact I actually went and paid $2 as a card payment for this Mayonnaise after I had finished eating.

On reflection, it’s definitely the latter. What an absolute mayonnaise mug I am.

So, as a word of warning to anyone travelling to New Zealand anytime in the future, please be warned that the condiments you can easily acquire in bottle loads on your tables in the UK (Wetherspoons I’m talking to you!), are in fact a real delicacy here, that you will certainly pay the price for.

I was tempted to take it with me as I had very nearly slipped into the “I’ve paid for it, I’m taking it” mindset, however, In protest of paying for a container of such disappointment, I felt it was necessary to make my feelings known by leaving them on the table in the sauce itself. I think it was more impactful…

Following on from my understandable, devastating experience of paying a high price for such a common meal accompaniment, The following day we arrived in Picton, New Zealand.

When we arrived, I was immediately taken back by a strange sense of nostalgia. Have I been here before? Then I realised why. Isn’t it weird when you travel across the entire world and suddenly end up in one of the closest villages to your home town?

I had the entire day to myself so I decided to explore a little. Picton itself is beautiful. With absolutely stunning views.

I decided embrace the Culture of Picton and go to the Picton aquarium.

Initially, it didn’t look that big, in-fact it bore remarkable resemblance to one of the sea life centres you would find in a British seaside town. However, this was the sign outside and there was one thing that caught my attention and got me a little bit excited:

“Giant Squid”. Wow. That’s freaking awesome.

Now, I’m aware of little marketing strategies and was prepared that it probably wasn’t an actual ‘giant’ just quite a large squid, but nonetheless I have never seen one up close before, so I thought it would be cool to go and see it. I am pretty confident in saying that this was probably 80% of the reason of me paying the $24 entrance fee to the aquarium itself.

So, squid excited Sam entered the aquarium and well… Erm, I personally do think it was quite a stretch to call it an ‘aquarium’, being totally honest. I think I could of actually created something more impressive with some glass tanks and a couple of visits to the pet store to get some fish.

The first thing to see were some ‘blue’ penguins. They were cute. I would like to point out there were only 3 of them. Yes. three little ‘blue’ penguins. I’ll admit there was a hint of blue, which was kinda cool. I’ll give them that. Then again I think I was partially expecting them to look like smurfs, so my expectation was never realistic.

At this point the disappointment level was initially established, and I personally was left feeling a little blue (pardon the pun) but as always, I remained positive and also still had the giant squid to look forward to, so it still looked promising.

Next up was the ‘big fish’ tank. Quite a few reasonably large sized fish, And one single ray, sat at the bottom, not even swimming or showing a single sign of being a living creature. Interesting. I’m actually convinced it was plastic but I guess I will never know. I was nearly tempted to try and rouse it somehow with various techniques including grabbing the nearest object (which just happened to be a blue penguin) and throwing it in the general direction of the ray. However, I do believe this would have ended with me being forcibly removed from the building, and I still had the giant squid to look forward to. Why would I want to jeopardize that?

Next it was onto the ‘Mystical Seahorses’. Straight away they can get rid of the ‘S’ at the end of the word ‘Seahorses’ because the only mystical thing about these are where the hell the rest of them went? There was ONE single seahorse. Horsing around or doing whatever seahorses do. I again found myself naturally a little disappointed with this but I did still had the Giant Squid to look forward to so it wasn’t anything of great concern at this point.

The time came. The Giant (pardon another pun) chance for this “Aquarium” to redeem itself and give me something quite exciting, and intriguing to look at. I turned the corner to the entrance of the ‘Giant Squid’ tank and well, this is what I saw….

‘**Giant Squid: Monster of the deep’ More like monster of disappointment**.

You have GOT to be joking…

It. was. DEAD.

A DEAD ‘giant’ Squid.

I was so taken back, I just stood staring at this disgusting, decaying, disappointing mess for about 5 minutes. Literally trying to get my head around this whole situation. Did I miss the word ‘Exhibit’ or had I suddenly somehow entered a museum without realising? The worst thing about this whole situation, is that the ‘Giant’ Squid was actually only about 4 foot long. I was actually bigger that this ‘Giant’ squid.

This lead me to think: if this is what they class as a ‘Giant’, I seriously wonder what my corpse would be called if placed in a tank:

‘Sam Wearing: The ‘Mega Giant’ measuring over 6ft long.

That was it. I was done. I made my way to the exit, probably one of the most disappointed people on the planet. Now I really wish I was joking about what happened next, but, no word of a lie, on the way out of this so called ‘aquarium’ I genuinely passed a tank containing a lizard and then a rabbit in a cage. Even the rabbit couldn’t face me as it was so overcome with shame:

On reflection, I should have known this place was full of failures and disappointments as soon as I saw the pathetic presentation of pissing penguins.

Now, in hindsight I do strongly believe the hint of blue on the penguins happened as a result of the sheer embarrassment and shame for living in such a mess of an ‘aquarium’. It all makes complete sense now…

So, if anyone is ever in the Picton area, and finds themselves considering paying the entry fee to the aquarium/museum/centre of dissapointment, save yourself some pennies and go get a pie from the bakery up the road instead. You’ll get a lot more enjoyment and satisfaction from a delicious $5 pie than a room full of 3 blue penguins, a seahorse and a fucking dead squid*.

*The Lizard and Rabbit are not even worthy of a mention at this point.

This post was written somewhere in the Tasman Sea between Sydney and New Zealand.

Sam Wearing

Highly dissapointed Squid and Mayonnaise Enthusiast

26, The Ocean

The World

The Universe

Away from home this Christmas? You are NOT alone…

The holiday season: A time to spend with your nearest and dearest. But not for some…

I wanted to write something from my personal experiences and knowledge gained from being away from home at this time of year on multiple occasions. This is something that I hope anyone who finds themselves away from home at this time of year, for whatever reason, can relate to. Hopefully this will help clear some minds to refocus on exactly why you are away from home and the benefits (yes, there are some!) of doing so, which can be forgotten about VERY easily at this time of year.

The secret to making this time of year away from home, as enjoyable as possible is: Mindset.

The perspective you look at things makes all the difference. There will ALWAYS be a positive sister thought to every negative thought in your mind. Uncovering them is the tricky part. It’s like playing a game of hide and seek, you might just be a bit out of practice due to not playing for a while!

One of the main factors that results in people being away from home at this time of year are their current work commitments. If you do find yourself away from home due to work commitments at this time of year, there are three things you must remember straight away to allow yourself to appreciate the situation fully:

1. You are employed. Congratulations! You are doing something that someone thinks you are good enough to actually be paid to do. That’s awesome. Hopefully you find yourself in a job or position that you enjoy. Or, maybe you don’t love every aspect of it, but you will certainly be challenged by the aspects you enjoy less. You are growing every day.

2. You are being paid*. You are making a monetary gain from your skills and knowledge. This could result in some financial freedom later along the line, to allow you to chase other ambitions in life.

*(Side note: If you find yourself, for whatever reason, not being paid properly for your services or skills: Re-Evaluate. ALWAYS remember your worth)

3. You have been given the opportunity to see a different part of the world. Whether that is on the other side of the world, or simply a different city/town of your home country. You now have a brand new place to explore and new people to meet. How lucky are you!

Obviously, the main negative of the situation is the fact you are away from home. This can often result in someone feeling like they are missing out on lots of things, which in turn can contribute to a range of mixed emotions.

At this time of year, there are a few main categories that I believe contribute to the festive season as you will know it from previous years. Let’s break it down further into these categories:

Traditions:

Traditions are awesome. The things you ALWAYS do every year without fail that make the difference between having an awesome holiday season, or suddenly realising how different things are now you find yourself away from home.

The thing to remember is: Traditions can take naps. This year is the perfect time to let them take a huge nap and re-energise. Everything in life needs a break now and then, traditions included. Another positive is the increased excitement when you finally get to do a tradition again. It will be worth the wait and feel extra special. You could also try and create some new traditions, that are not location dependant. This will make them easier to fulfil year after year, and create a sense of continuity.

Also, if you happen to find yourself surrounded by people from other parts of the world, ask about their traditions and share your own with them. It’s fascinating to learn about other cultures and how different parts of the world have traditions that vary from your own.

Family/friends events:

Especially at this time of year you will feel left out of many family/friends events or ‘get togethers’. As hard as it is to imagine your family or friends carrying on as ‘normal’ while you are away, as always, there are a few positives to this situation if you allow yourself to see them.

Think of all of the adventures and stories you will have to talk about when you are reunited with them. You will come back with more knowledge, experience, and memories than ever before. You will be the most interesting person you have EVER been, and this is something you can be extremely proud of and share with them when you get home. Of course you will miss your family and friends but I guarantee that they probably miss you that tiny little bit more. It will be those people, who are the most excited to hear all about everything you have been up to.

Food:

Food is a huge part of this time of year for many people. There will probably be family recipes and special festive treats you look forward to having every year, that are just out of your grasp this year. If you are lucky enough to find yourself in another part of the world, be open to trying some of their food or festive treats. The ones you have at home will ALWAYS be there, so instead of thinking about everything food-wise you are missing back home, get excited and be adventurous to try new things. Maybe you will discover some of your new international favourites… who knows!

To wrap it up (pardon the pun):

Missing out on a holiday season at home (for whatever reason) is a unique opportunity to realise what really matters to you at this time of year. Like anything in life, the time you spend without something, is when you actually have the chance to miss it (or not). This experience of missing out on certain aspects, can now be used to solidify your ideal holiday season next year.

Or, if for whatever reason you are away from home again next year, you have yet another opportunity to gain even more knowledge to what truly matters to you at this time of year and use it sometime in the future.

If you know of anyone away from home, or even just finding themselves in different circumstances this festive season, please send them a link to this. I’d really love for it to reach as many people as possible who are in similar situations who might just need to play a game of hide and seek this festive season!

This post was written somewhere in the ocean between Sydney & New Zealand.

Merry Christmas!

All my love,

Sam

Being Brave in Bora Bora

Welcome to Paradise!

As we began our pacific crossing over to Australia and New Zealand for the second half of our contract, we had two stops in Bora Bora and Tahiti. Both of these destinations are islands in French Polynesia, in the Pacific ocean.

Bora Bora was truly stunning. For our first day myself and Caroline booked ourselves onto a snorkeling excursion, on which we would swim with Sharks and Rays. We booked via Trip Advisor so it seemed quite legit; however we thought the same with the Luau in Hawaii, and we all know how that one ended!

(If not, give this a read).

I have to admit I was waiting for someone to ask for a military ID as we boarded the boat, however I am happy to report it did not happen, and we seemed to had actually booked something correctly for once. When we got on the boat we were joined by about 6 other people, which made it feel like our own private boat as we all had our little corners to ourselves to enjoy the trip. On this excursion there were 3 different snorkeling stops:

1.Sharks

2.Rays

3.Coral reef

As we arrived at the first stop of the trip, we looked down into the water and it became apparent that the boat was now surrounded by sharks and a lot of them too. After convincing ouselves that we won’t be eaten, we jumped in the water and instantly we found ourselves swimming among two types of sharks: Lemon sharks and Black Tip sharks. I would like to say it was equally exciting and terrifying, but at this point terrifying was definitely taking the lead on this one. The sharks did keep at a safe distance and were clearly not bothered by us at all, which provided us with some much needed reassurance. What an experience. Onto stop two…

Next up was the ray stop. This is where we headed into shallower water, which resulted in the water going to an extremely satisfying turquoise colour. We began to see some huge silhouettes all around the boat. The rays had arrived…

We jumped off the boat, into the water and began to get closer to the rays. Our tour guide had bought some dead fish along to entice them a little closer to us. What a brilliant idea. That was until I found myself hit in the head with a dead fish whilst swimming and suddenly subsequently swamped by multiple rays in an extremely intimidating manner. I have to admit I did make a tiny addition to the amount of liquid in the pacific ocean as a result. It all got a bit too much. I’m sorry.

The rays were super cool, and came close enough to touch them. Apart from the dead fish incident, everything seemed to be going very well until a 3 metre long shark suddenly came out of nowhere and began weaving in and out of us all, triggering screams and mild panic within the group. It was completely harmless to us and clearly only here because of the dead fish we were feeding to the rays. I did have a quick moment of realization that if this particular shark happens to be on the hunt for a tall, extremely long limbed individual with a fresh hint of dead fish – I would 100% be the chosen one. Luck seemed to be on my side, and the shark moved on with thankfully no visible signs of increase in interest.

On the way to the final stop of the trip, we passed the well known ‘Bora Bora bungalows’. These are one of the main selling points and attractions to the island, extremely popular with couples on their Honeymoon. It genuinely felt like we were looking at generic computer wallpaper. Quite a strange feeling.

Before actually arriving at the next stop, the crew on board the boat did advise us that if we were to see any Moray eels whilst in the water at the coral reef, we were to swim with our hands under our arm pits, as anything worm like such as fingers, they will immediately be attracted to. Just a little bit worrying.

Then we arrived at the final snorkeling stop, the coral reef. Once in the water, we swam amongst hundreds of tropical fish. It was awesome. Very relaxing and satisfying until the moment about 4 moray eels appeared. They were about 2 meters long and were actively searching amongst the reef for their next victim. We all instantly put our hands under our armpits and collectively looked like a shoal of freshly amputated humans heading back to the safety on the boat. What an awesome experience.

Unfortunately, due to having no access to an underwater camera, I was unable to capture any photos or videos from the snorkeling trip. However, I thought it was extremely unreasonable and unfair for me to expect the people who read this, to not have an accurate visual representation of our experience.

You are welcome…

With the sharks.

With the rays.

With the eels.

Once the snorkeling trip was complete we headed back to shore and had some time to explore a little. When I say ‘explore’ I do actually mean: find some dogs and give them some very much needed attention…

Our trip to Bora Bora was complete. Now onto Tahiti…

I’m really proud to say that our visit to Tahiti was a day full of exploring the culture, history and sophistication of a few carefully selected local destinations*.

I am aware that I do have some international readers following this blog, so just in case there is any misunderstanding due to any language differences, I would like to clarify the following:

* ‘Carefully selected destinations’ are sometimes known as ‘bars’ and as a result of the overwhelming experience, we all got extremely thirsty and unfortunately had to have some (quite a few) drinks to re-hydrate.

I know what some of you will be thinking right now:

“This sounds suspiciously like something we would often refer to as a bar crawl”.

Absolutely not.

We didn’t crawl… we walked!

This post was written somewhere between French Polynesia and New Zealand.

Sam Wearing

Quite Tall, smells like dead fish

25, The Ocean

The World

The Universe

Hilarity In Hawaii

Hello dear reader, I hope you are swell,

Gather round and get ready, for I have a story to tell.

A British homosexual and his New York hunny,

Get themselves into a Hawaiian situation, that I think you’ll find quite funny.

So here we go, I shall set the scene,

We arrive in Hawaii, somewhere I have never been…

We were in Lahaina, Hawaii for an overnight. This meant we arrived on the morning of 27th September, and would not leave until late evening of the 28th. So two full days to explore…

Lahaina is a tender port. This means our ship is too large to actually dock on the island itself, so we drop anchor away from the shore, and we have tender boats that transfer all passengers and crew to the island. This can be a lengthy process with potentially 8,000 people wanting to get off to experience the island, however the organisation was impeccable and it was a smooth process for all involved.

As soon as we could, we got off the ship and began exploring.

**Trying ‘Shave Ice’ for the first time**

Myself and Caroline had to head back to the ship at 7pm that evening to perform a ‘Summer Breeze’ set for the guests. This did mean that unfortunately we had to miss out on the crew Luau trip that had been planned for that evening.

A Luau is a huge traditional Hawaiian event that is used to celebrate the culture and history of Hawaii.

We were told coming to Hawaii and NOT attending a Luau is basically like going to Paris and not seeing the Eiffel Tower. Because myself and Caroline could not attend the Luau in Lahaina, we decided to book one for ourselves in Honolulu, where we had another overnight coming up in the next few days. At least we didn’t have to miss out on the experience of attending a Luau. The price for the crew luau in Lahaina was $160 dollars, so this was the price guideline we were prepared to pay for our Luau in Honolulu.

We searched ‘Best Luau’s in Honolulu’ and a list of the top rated events was generated by our good friend, Google. We looked into option 1, it was sold out. We looked into option 2. It was $60 and there was an event on the night we wanted to attend. RESULT. We booked and now had a bargain, top rated luau to look forward to in Honolulu.

That evening we got back on board and did the show. Afterwards we then came back off the ship to the island to join everyone for the rest of the evening’s antics. They all had a great time at the Luau, and it made us even more excited for our turn in Honolulu.

The next day we woke up early, got off the ship and were determined to find some excursions to do, hoping for a boat trip to see dolphins. We met a lovely lady called Beth from Boston in an excursion booth on the island, and she sold us the last 2 seats on a dolphin trip that departed just an hour after.

I always prepare myself for disappointment with boat trips to see specific animals, after all, it’s basically promising to see something that could potentially be world champions in playing hide and seek. As skeptical as I was, these dolphins obviously did not make it to the world championships as we managed to find them and they did not disappoint.

Dolphins are my favourite animals so I was the happiest guy in the world being literally touching distance from them in their natural habitat. I won’t be forgetting that day anytime soon…

**We were literally touching distance from them**

On the way back to the ship in the tender boat, Caroline and I exchanged the photos we had taken that day via Airdrop. All was going well until Caroline accidently selected the wrong person to send the images to, and the recipient was actually sat right next to us. We saw the invitation pop up on her phone, the lady rapidly pressed accept and as a result: There is now a Chinese lady somewhere in the world that has multiple photos of me on her phone. I’d love to see the confusion on her face when she tries to figure out who the hell I am and how those images got on her phone. Unfortunately myself and Caroline were laughing way too much to even attempt to explain to the lady what had just happened.

Our trip to Lahaina was done. Onto Honolulu…

After sailing between islands overnight, we arrived in Honolulu the following day. We got off the ship at about 5pm and headed straight to our hotel where we literally threw our bags into our room and headed back out to the Luau which started at 6pm.

As we got to the hotel where the Luau was, there was something different about it. We couldn’t quite put our fingers on it. So many friendly staff, the hotel itself was absolutely stunning and everything about it just seemed a little too good to be true. If we only knew what was about to happen…

As we arrived at the box office to collect our tickets, the lady at the desk asked for the surname of the booking as usual, and then for our Military ID, which is not so usual.

Confused we stared blankly at the lady, as she continued to ask to see a Military ID. Caroline started to search through her purse for a Military ID which I knew for a fact did not exist, but she was determined and searched with full conviction. She honestly deserves a tony award for her leading performance in “Lady with No Military ID”.

The lady then asked us ‘Did you book this event online’; we said ‘Yes, we did’. She then acknowledged a laminated sheet on the desk and pointed out the following statement:

“This is a MILITARY ONLY hotel. All Luau events are strictly for military guests and are NOT open to the general public.”

My heart sank down into my socks from the weight of sheer embarrassment as we continued to stare at the lady with blank expressions, which had now gained a strong hint of confusion.

After what seemed like an eternity of standing and staring at this Lady in the box office, she then said “Okay. I will print the tickets for you, but you CANNOT tell anyone or say you are not with the Military”. She winked and we thanked her, and left to begin this extremely unexpected Military themed evening. Mission accepted.

**Myself and Caroline attempting to fit into the Luau**

In the state of shock of the sudden change of direction our evening was now headed in, myself and Caroline did not speak for about 10 minutes and simply stood amongst the crowd of guests, who now all instantly looked remarkably Military.

We slowly came to realise that in order to enjoy this experience, we would simply have to embrace our non Military-ness and improvise. The evening suddenly looked freshly promising with our new outlook on the situation, until the time came to sit down for dinner. Oh god, no.

We now have to sit on a large table surrounded by actual military guests and their families. Conversation is inevitable and the moment we realised this, I was so ready to tap out of this unexpected, and unwanted bushtucker trial and say ‘I’m non-Military, get me out of here’.

We quickly did some homework. Googling ‘Military Titles’ in the hope of gaining some knowledge that could carry us through the rest of the evening. And then I came up with a plan and proudly presented it to Caroline:

PLAN 1:

We are brother and sister. Our father booked us this as a treat but we are a little naive and uneducated in his specific position, therefore limiting the expectation of detailed conversation. Wham. Bam. Sham. What a foolproof plan from Sam. Until Caroline pointed out: I am British. She is American. And in her words ‘Your American accent is a solid no’. Fair point, Caroline. Back to square one.

PLAN 2:

We are a couple (lol). Caroline’s Uncle is our connection to the Military, and he booked us into the hotel and event. I was happy with this plan as I could simply rely on Caroline to know everything about her Uncle. However, Caroline was not SO convinced with her own ability to hold entire Military conversations with people who ACTUALLY know what they are talking about, which is understandable. Back to our good friend, square one again…

PLAN 3:

Every time someone begins to engage in any sort of conversation with us, we instantly, but politely leave the table whilst saying the words ‘Another drink?’ then head straight to the bar. PERFECT.

We sat at the table, said hello and introduced ourselves to our new friends for the evening. Luckily the food came out pretty fast, so the food conversation saved us for a good amount of time. However, there are only a certain amount of times you can complement the fresh pineapple before coming across as a strange, pineapple obsessive.

Then it happened. A conversation began about everyone’s military connections. Myself and Caroline quickly excused ourselves, stood up and made our way to the bar to get some much needed cups of Military confidence. The bar had actually run out of this, so we opted for alcohol instead. Turns out it’s actually the same thing, who knew?!

This happened multiple times throughout the evening before FINALLY the entertainment began. The show was sensational. Very informative and true to the Hawaiian culture. This kept everyone engaged in the activity on the stage, and thankfully the conversations stopped. Phew. Myself and Caroline smiled at each other across the table with a sigh of relief that we could finally just relax and enjoy the evening. That was until the host invited a couple who had been married 62 Years onto the stage to dance whilst every other couple in the audience also danced together while he was singing a love ballad. For us it looked like this…

All was going probably too well until the entertainment suddenly gained a Military twist with audience participation. What happened next still gives me heart palpitations…

The host said the following:

“I think we should take every opportunity we can to show our appreciation to our countries heroes. So we are going to do that, right now…Let’s begin first with our members of war. When I ask you to stand, let’s give them the applause they truly, truly deserve”

‘Stand up if you are/or were in the Army’. Some people began to stand up…

Stand up if you are/ or were in the Navy’. Some more people stood up. ..

‘Stand up if you are/were in the Air Force’. Even more people stood up. ..

This continued for a good amount of time, with the host listing ALL Military divisions and the amount of people standing up, was rising as fast as my heart rate. Soon we were the only people still sat down in a large radius of the audience. How the hell do we get out of this one? Myself and Caroline stared at each other in a way that could only be described as how it feels to be forced out of the non-military closet in front of hundreds of people.

We HAVE to stand at some point but when? How did this happen? Why are we here? So many questions developing but absolutely no answers to get us out of this one.

Luckily, the host then said:

‘And most importantly of all, stand up if you are family or friends of someone in the Military’.

It’s fair to say we both lept to our feet with a sense of pure relief that is similar to that feeling when you are not sure if it’s a poo or a fart, and it thankfully turns out to be the latter. THANK YOU LORD.

Actual footage below….

As much as we were not actually supposed to be there, it really was an absolute privilege to be surrounded by the people who have served for the United States. The evening ended with an extremely emotional tribute to all of the fallen soldiers who sadly did not make it back home.

**Emotional tribute to fallen soldiers**

I actually have strong family connections to the UK military with both of my grandfathers serving in the world war and also some friends who are currently still serving for our country, all of whom I admire greatly.

On the way back to hotel we decided to re-visit the website we booked the tickets on just to see exactly what we had missed. It looked like this:

Ooops….

But obviously that couldn’t be the end of the military situation. As we arrived back to our hotel, this was a sign in the window:

You literally couldn’t make this stuff up.

Disclaimer: As much as I have made light of the situation as a whole, in no way would I ever want to come across as not respecting those people who dedicate their lives to working in the Military. They are ALL absolute heroes. I am purely making light of the situation itself that I found myself in which actually couldn’t be further from my career path right now and thought people would find some hilarity in it too. What an experience…

After recovering from the event by having just a few more drinks with fellow cast members that evening, we went back to the hotel and prepared for a busy day in the morning.

**With fellow cast makes having a drink**

The following day was filled by snorkeling & exploring more of the island and it looked a bit like this:

Can you spot me in the photo above?

Our time in Hawaii came to an end. What an amazing couple of days. Now we begin a 19 day pacific crossing over to Australia and New Zealand, where we are based for the rest of this contract ending in April 2020. On the crossing we will visit some of the French Polynesian islands such as Bora Bora.

God knows what will happen there, but i’m sure it will be a hell of an adventure…

This post was written somewhere between Hawaii and Bora Bora.

Sam Wearing

Non-Military, homosexual

25, The Ocean

The World

The Universe

Bon Voyage!

22/09/2019

Today marks exactly one month since I started my adventure around the world on board Royal Caribbean’s ‘Ovation of the Seas’ as a featured vocalist.

During this time, I have had my eyes opened in a variety of different ways. Not just at 8am when I have to learn to fight a fire or slide someone down some stairs on an Evac chair (Being the person on the chair was fun though! Thanks Desi for my ride!)

I have decided to use my new, re-energised and freshly travelled mind to accumulate some thoughts and feelings about my adventure so far…

So here we go:

3 Things I discovered in my first month working on board a cruise ship:

(In order of severity)

1. Jesus. Canine. Christ!

I MISS DOGS! This was something that seriously took me by surprise. I have always been an animal lover, but it never, ever struck me as something that I would miss while travelling around the world. I would have never thought of myself as one of those strange people actively searching for dogs to pet, but here I am: Sam the lanky dog searcher. This has confirmed that there will 100% be a dog in my life one day. One I can call my own. One that I can pull away from those strange people working on cruise ships, who ask to pet MY dog..

Meet Dibbles*…

I met Dibbles* in Skagway, Alaska with 2 of my colleagues/fast becoming best friends from the ship, Caroline and Jack. He was so friendly and loved every second of the attention we gave him. Luckily, my friend Jack was on hand to capture the moment. It’s one of my favourite photo’s I have so far of my adventure. Just the way Dibbles* is looking at me, makes me happy. We loved him, and he loved us.

*Confession. None of us can actually remember what the dogs name was. I was and still am convinced it was Dibbles. Caroline thought it was Nibbles and jack was too busy taking another photo on his disposable camera at the time of the name discussion. We then jokingly came to the conclusion that he was called Derek, to avoid any further confusion.

P.S I’m sure he was called Dibbles. Sorry Caroline.

2. Saying hello to strangers is NOT strange.

I cannot tell you how refreshing it is to walk down the street and simply say hello to people. Just a simple smile and eye contact, could then lead to a hello. It is amazing how this effortless greeting can quickly develop into an incredible conversation with someone who you never EVER would have spoken to before.

Disclaimer: You don’t have to walk down the street like Mr Bean greeting everyone in a strangely positive and extremely suspicious way. I do*, but that’s purely because he is one of my idols.

*I don’t actually. Well, not intentionally…

Looking back to life before this adventure, I actually went out of my way to avoid eye contact, and speaking to anyone I was not familiar with. Whenever I was walking anywhere I would put my headphones on, even if I had no intention of listening to music, purely to avoid anyone speaking to me, or getting stuck into an awkward conversation.

What a shame…

Actually, that one time that a man in Clapham Junction, clearly high on some sort of illegal substance tried to talk to me while I had my headphones on. So I used my Mr Bean battered brain and started saying “Hello, yeah I’m about 1 minute away” pretending to be on the phone to someone, they did save me that time. But that was rare.

But genuinely, the atmosphere at some of the places I have visited so far has been so different to anything I experienced back home in the UK. I took a moment to try to work out why: People ACTUALLY talk to each other. It makes an environment so much healthier, happier and productive when people talk, joke, laugh and enjoy that particular moment together. Try it, I guarantee you’ll feel a bit better because of it.

3.Social Media is not a priority.

I love social media. At one point in my life I was absolutely obsessed with how many ‘likes’ or ‘retweets’ a post got. Again, now having had a decent amount of time away from my phone and social media (thanks to non reliable ship wifi), I have a fresh view on it.

I love seeing what everyone is up to, however at one point I got to a stage where I was constantly comparing my life to everyone else’s that I was following online. This is where it gets unhealthy. Religiously watching someone’s portrayal of their life online is like watching the best bits of Gemma Collins on ‘I’m A Celebrity Get Me Out of Here!’ It’s all edited and the boring bits are cut out. Who would want to see Gemma sleeping? No one. Who wants to see her crying hysterically and begging to get out of a helicopter before it has even left the ground? Everyone.

It’s ironic that when we are somewhere incredible, or having such an amazing time, we take time away from that experience, to post something online to express how much fun we are having. I honestly believe if you are genuinely having a great time, you won’t have time to post about it until afterwards. Imagine how much stuff you have actually been missing, whilst editing or posting a story/post onto social media?

Of course, I’ll be sharing pictures/videos and everything else about my adventure. However, I now have a mindset that won’t allow me or an obsession with sharing my life instantly on social media, take away from any memories or moments that I know I will treasure one day. It’s like the morning after a *very* intoxicated night out, when you scroll through your camera roll and discover what legendary footage your drunken self managed to capture. The suspense and hilarity is always one of the best things about messy nights. It’s like that, but with fewer hangovers, less blurry photos/videos and more lifetime memories. Win win.

This post was written and published somewhere in the ocean between Seattle and Hawaii

Sam Wearing

Mr Bean Enthusiast

25, The Ocean

The World

The Universe

PS: Don’t try and drink water upside down, whilst lying on a pool table. It will end like this: